Because I Want To

I have just finished going through my first pre-operation appointment as an adult. All of my other surgeries were before I was 18 years old, so naturally, I didn't have to do shit to get ready for them. My folks filled out all the paperwork, and while I'm sure I had to undergo the same stuff to be "cleared," I don't remember it very much. (Probably the saving grace of my childhood is how much I can or can't remember.)

I have many such bracelets

So yesterday was pretty strange to me -- here I am filling out my own paperwork; walking around this hospital to get all this stuff done; smelling that horrible, awful hospital smell. A bit surreal. But it made me think back on all those times I could remember, sitting at the desks with my folks bored out of my mind but too terrified to really act out because, unlike any other situation where kid-is-bored-wrecks-havoc, I knew I was about to have my head cut open and spliced back together.

Yesterday reminded me of those times, I suppose. But different. Because there were no parents this time. Just me walking around, lost and confused (hospitals have never been designed to be sensical, which is a made up word but still very apt), changing out of clothes and into dressing gowns and then back into clothes and then back into the gowns...couldn't I have just kept that shit on the first time? No, apparently not.

So anyway, the afternoon of tests and such went well. Which means the surgery is still on for later this month.