So, Is It Dingle Balls Or Dingleballs?

What's inspiring me today? Fabric arts and Mexican dingle-ball things. Go figure. If you Google image search "Mexican dingle balls", you get the image below. I think that's really great. Sometime in the future, I plan to make a chair cover for one of our papasan getups.  I'll get the blankets from Mexico because I love the plaid, wool ones (so soft), and I can't resist adding dingle ball (dingleball?) trim: it's *just* my kind of obnoxious.

Pre-Op Date Night

Dearest Kid,

I understand it's important not to get sick before surgery, but if you wear a face-bandana to the bookstore, then I'm going to wear a ski mask.

Sincerely yours,

Sassy

Not Fully Realized

We say it a lot within the confines of a relationship: "I love you." We say it a lot, and for the most part, we mean it intently each time. But like any other repeated habit, verbal or otherwise, there are also times when it is said as a goodbye, or a hello, or a goodnight -- no less meaningful within the context of sharing, but not felt as intensely in those moments either.

Adult Education

I’ve learned a few things lately.

 1. Being a nice person does not make me a team player. 

Being a team player makes me a team player. 

 2. I’m no actress, but I sure know how to steal the show. 

Active listening does not mean crying: it’s his turn to talk. Note to self: Self, you can talk about how much you relate later. Stop getting all weepy and emotional because you felt like that one time too. That’s nice.  I’m sure he’ll appreciate it once you let him make his point. Now shut up. 

 3. Razorburn is acne for cheap people. 

I’m not that clever for getting the cheap razors. Yes, I saved $4. Congratulations. Now I'll go use that $4 to buy some lotion to repair my demolished skin. 

 4. It's 10am and NOW I know what that smell is. 

Note to self: try to run the sink disposal each night, but especially the nights you put steak fat in it. 

Pseudo Goals

I feel like a blog should have goals, or at least pretend like it does. You might be surprised to know that in spite of being atypically absurd even on my best days, I still prefer to have goals attached to most things.  It's the follow-through I struggle with.  So, in light of us finally starting this blog we've been talking about for six months, I present you with MY set of pseudo-goals.   

 1.  Be better at follow-through. 

The hope is that I'll see goals I've written about, and hold myself to them.  Or something like that.  I'll get back to this later.

 2.  Choose your words carefully, think about what you mean to say/write. 

Self-editing is good.  Needing to do it ALL the time, not so good. 

 3.  Stop apologizing for yourself all the damn time. 

It was annoying when the girl on Next Food Network Star did it, so it's a habit you're going to break.  I mean, if I choose my words more carefully, I won't need to apologize so much, will I?  Right. 

 4.  Don't get hung up on the formatting. 

I've started blogs/websites several times, but never launch because I can't settle on the format.  It's what I do for a living, but this isn't supposed to be work, you know?  For example, I hate the default font for this thing.  Within 5 minutes of setting up the blog, I was looking for ways to change it.  Help!  STOP ME, PLEASE. 

 5.  Type longer sentences.  

Re-reading this stuff is going to eventually give you a seizure, or people will think you are incapable of forming complex thoughts. I know, right?  But it's not true. That's just how I think. I mean, if you put a few of the short sentences together in a meaningful way, sometimes that shit makes sense.  I'm just saying. 

 6.  It's my blog, I can talk to myself if I want to. 

I do it all the time, I exist in my head.  Are there people who don't do this?  I want to meet them. Actually, scratch that.  They're probably boring.

I'm sure we'll add more rules/goals/etc as time goes on, I think of crap like this in the shower.