Adult Education

I’ve learned a few things lately.

 1. Being a nice person does not make me a team player. 

Being a team player makes me a team player. 

 2. I’m no actress, but I sure know how to steal the show. 

Active listening does not mean crying: it’s his turn to talk. Note to self: Self, you can talk about how much you relate later. Stop getting all weepy and emotional because you felt like that one time too. That’s nice.  I’m sure he’ll appreciate it once you let him make his point. Now shut up. 

 3. Razorburn is acne for cheap people. 

I’m not that clever for getting the cheap razors. Yes, I saved $4. Congratulations. Now I'll go use that $4 to buy some lotion to repair my demolished skin. 

 4. It's 10am and NOW I know what that smell is. 

Note to self: try to run the sink disposal each night, but especially the nights you put steak fat in it.