Graphic Design(er) Of The Future(r) (Err...?)

I'm bored and Sassy isn't at the computer (say, like, working or something). I don't even think she's in the building; I could call out, but that sort of ruins the mystery now doesn't it?

Here's The Thing

#1. My shoulders aren't tight because my "core" needs tightening, and I'd appreciate you not rubbing my belly when you make that proclamation either. Well, no, to be fair, I liked it when you rubbed my belly, I just didn't like the words coming out of your mouth while my belly was being rubbed (I think you patted it once too, for posterity). I think we can safely assume that my shoulders are tight because I have a hole in my neck. See the post The Answer to Everything is My Throat Got Cut.