What's In A Word?

I was listening to the grand shuffle of my preferred digital media container, and this song ("Loving, Self Loathing" by Smoke or Fire) came on. Play it while you read, perhaps.

You ever listen to that Violent Femmes song "Blister in the Sun" (here) and think to yourself, "kite is a funny word"? Because it is. Kite and white.

Site. Oh ok.
Cite. Hmm.
Dyke. OHSHI-

In case you are unaware, Sassy is a mom. Let's all handle this like adults. Now, ahem. One of the benefits of being a mom is the little DNA stain that follows you around and makes a shit-ton of fabulous noise about the approximation of the vastness of nothing!. I likewise see a trend though, and I have made a chart to show you this phenomenon.

By age

I do a serviceable job for a writer, I'd say. Oh yeah, so the point I was eventually getting to with this chart is that Sassy provided her additional mobile DNA to the cause - not a soul alive knows what that is - which is how I get to experience watching said child learn to read without being an actual parent/responsible adult/positive male role model.

Do you know how nonsensical the English language is when it comes to reading/writing? Half the rules are exceptions, and most the exceptions are French, Latin, or German in any event. Our language isn't intuitive at all.

This is what a word can trigger in my brain.


  1. Poor little guy. He doesn't know why we want him to draw a card when he could just pick it up, or why he should make his bed when it already exists (although messily), and is especially perturbed at the fact that knife starts with "K" and the letter "G" sounds like it has a "J" in it.

  2. He'll probably never learn how "ghoti" can phonetically spell "fish." The world just doesn't have that magic anymore.

  3. I'm still fascinated by that chart up there. On a scale from one to 20, you guys are a good 17 in chart making. Dare I say, you silly caucasian people are Cartographers?? YES! You are. If a chart existed for my wife, the frustration level would be maxed out.


The space below is where you try to be funnier than us. Ok, go.