We Are Pretendtious: The Best Post In The World

It has been a time since I have posted anything. It was a difficult time for most of you, I know. But it was tough for me as well because of all my readers, who missed me. I felt their collective agonized yearning for the Ish as waves of astral energy, and it invigorated me during my deadlines, but it also set upon me a terrible burden: the desire to ease the thirst for Ish.

Speaking of deadlines, by which I mean exclusively my deadlines here, not a generalized "deadlines" concept, which you may attempt to relate to but which I shall deny you equal space in the lofty halls of my own self importance, I am finished with them. Well, mine in any event, but there are some others my bosses feel pressured to get done, and they prevail upon my gracious intelligence and compassionate mercy to assist them toward completion.

Now normally, after I get my book out to the printer, I leave the office. And I do not come back until I damn well feel like it. This is an unspoken thing here, and the duration of the carefree pretension of work's nonexistence lasts approximately one day. But not this month. Because this month, we have many deadlines, and I am a team player when I am given free, company-provided bagels on Fridays.

Actually, I'm a horrible team player in some regard. In real team situations, I'm excellent; in instances of individual work being done in a group setting (so basically, an office environment), I'm awful, because I generally hold myself in higher regard to my neighbors than most people tend to, and part of that means I want to do everything myself so that it is done correctly. And more quickly. And with better lines.

I'm sure this revelation about my ego is shocking to you. Yes, I know. I'll further the mind-blown you are about to sit there and feel, deep down in your soul, with this picture.

...and kitties

You are amazed.

I look forward to evenings without my laptop open and without the pages of obscure automotive research littered -- no, verily strewn! -- about the coffee table haphazardly, and I fully intend to take advantage of a few free hours to play some games before I activate my mind again for other tasks, such as writing or picking up that book again.

I want to leave you with peace in your hearts. And Edsels fill everyone with peace. So here you go, Edsel lovers and masochists alike!